When it comes to gender norms, there are few areas which are riddled with as much stereotyping as the world of parenting. Moms have been seen as the main care-giver for their children for thousands of years, and fathers are usually expected to provide for the financial, material, and security needs of the family. While tradition works for some, though, you will want to be a good father to your children. Society’s expectations can often get in the way of this, and it isn’t fair, so this post is going to be taking you through some of the key areas which you can change to be the right kind of father for your kids, to give you the power to do it for yourself.
Raising & Teaching
One of the biggest stereotypes which is tied to parenting is that a father should be there to provide, rather than to raise. In reality, though, you have just as much reason to teach your children as their mother does, and it will be crucial to their development to have as much support as possible with this side of their life. There is nothing wrong with playing the role which a mother would normally play. If you and your partner have split up, you may need to look for father’s rights help to ensure that you can spend enough time with your little ones.
Children rarely understand their emotions, making the smallest upsets into something much worse than they have to be. A lot of fathers make the mistake of brushing off emotions, working hard to remain stoic so that their children see them as strong. This can be damaging, making your children feel as though their emotions should be trampled down and ignored, and is something which you should avoid as much as possible. There is nothing wrong with a child seeing their dad cry, and this can even be a healthy experience for them.
Don’t Be Cool
While a lot of kids find themselves getting embarrassed by their parents, it serves them much better to have a cringe worthy dad than a cool one. You shouldn’t let them do whatever they want just so that they will like you, as it is usually much easier to find respect when you invest time into your children, working to create a balance which gives them what they want, while also keeping them safe and healthy. A great example of this comes with drinking and drugs. Some dad’s will look past these activities, but the results can be far more damaging than forcing them to stop.
Being a father in the modern world isn’t an easy task. Men are often viewed as the least marginalized group of people, and this means that they don’t get the support which other groups are given. You don’t have to live up to the expectations society sets out for you, though, and can choose your own path towards being a good father; you just have to put some work into it.