‘This’ would be the fighting and chaos which seem to follow me wherever I go. I don’t mean to, somehow I always just do. My problems/issues/stressors (all my words) somehow seem to get in the middle of and fuck up a lot of things in my life. I try, God knows how I try, to just keep my mouth shut and not explain, or describe, or sometimes just run my mouth; because I don’t feel heard or understood or I’m just so pissed off I can’t help it. That never improves the situation. At that point, I don’t care. I just need to feel heard, loved, or understood. Not judged, or useless, or broken or that I don’t want to get better. I give myself enough of that, more than anyone could ever imagine.
So, yeah, I get it, nobody needs this.