I’m afraid to go see my Dad

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My Dad had his surgery two days ago. I haven’t seen him since just before they took him back. It isn’t that I don’t want to because I do, I’m afraid.

Terrified might be a more accurate term. I know this will likely sound immature it’s just; logically I know my parents won’t live forever, but emotionally I still believe they will. Going to see my Dad will just drive home he almost died, I could have lost him forever, and my parents truly won’t live forever.

So, selfishly, I’m afraid to see my Dad because I don’t want to be confronted with the reality he won’t live forever.