Everyday in the Cheerio household brings about a new sort of “normal”. I use that term loosely of course. Our lives are in a constant state of flux. Mostly because of Gavin, not that I’m saying everything is his fault because it isn’t. It’s just that a majority of the time our lives revolve around Gavin and his needs. Some days the flux is caused because of me and my needs. However, mostly, our lives revolve around Gavin. His moods. His needs. His whims. His fits of anger. His fits, period. His appointments. Him, in general.
I feel like as soon as we get one thing under control here. One thing stablized. Everything else hits a huge wave and smashes into a million pieces. Then we are left clinging to that one thing we managed to stablize while we scramble to gather the other million pieces and try to put them back together. Only it feels as if we are trying to put them back together, in the dark, without glue, without directions and honestly, without any real idea of what they were in the first place. All the while that one stablized thing, whatever it was, is slipping away so slowly that we don’t notice until it’s gone.