The Terrorist 3’s

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Seriously? Two Terrorists in one family? There should be some sort of rule against that. It just isn’t fair.

Incidentally, whomever said that it was the “Terrible 2’s” is full of it. Clean up to their eyeballs, full of it. I guarantee that once that parent said that, they took it back 365 days later. Once the “Terrible” left the building and the “Terrorist” took over, all bets were off and that parents went *forehead desk* “I was a complete idiot. I hope no one remembers I said that.” Well, guess what buddy…We all remember.

It is currently 8:29pm EST. I have been sitting in this same rocking chair for 1 hour and 29 minutes listening to a screaming, whining, begging, pleading, bargaining Terrorist. Apparently he hasn’t heard that Americans don’t negotiate with Terrorists. Someone should probably let him know. He’s not speaking to me or I would tell him. God only knows how much longer I will sit here while Elliott Richard does everything shy of throwing himself out his second story window to try and stay awake and get out of going to bed. Gavin has already fallen asleep – that tells you how long this has gone on. It’s insanity.

Of course one of his favorite tactics is the “Daddy Guilt” method. He screams and pleads “Daddy help me”, “Daddy save me”, “Daddy, Daddy please” as if I’m up here systematically and heartlessly jamming bamboo shoots under his fingernails rather than surfing the net or working on turning my home into a prison. And off course Rob will call up “Are you okay honey”, “Do you need anything”, “Can I help you” which of course is just enough to feed the idea in Elliott Richard’s mind that Daddy is coming to save the day. And so what does he do? Why he kicks it up a notch, obviously.

Why doesn’t anyone mention this stuff in birthing classes?! “Oh by the way, yeah that video looks horrible and painful. Yeah, you’re probably scared witless right now. But seriously, wait until this kid is THREE. *insert evil laugh here* That’s when the real pain starts and it only gets worse from there.”

Yeah, I think I would have seriously reconsidered this whole “parenting gig” had someone mentioned that way back when….okay, probably not but it still would have been nice to have been properly informed.

Sssssshhhhhh….do you hear that? Apparently, I was wrong. Elliott Richard didn’t outlast Gavin. He just out-screamed him. Either way you look at it, no easy feat. But since my Terrorist is finally asleep. I’m outta here!

BTW, it’s now 8:44pm. 1 hour and 44 minutes spent with a Terrorist 3 year old. Oy.