I don’t know what to write here. I’ve upset Rob because of my last post. He wishes I hadn’t posted it. I wish…I don’t know what I wish. I wish that people could either say something nice or not say anything at all.
Did she mean something cruel by her comment? I don’t know. It was her opinion. Right, wrong or indifferent, I should not have lashed out specifically at her in my last post. Odds were that she had not posted to Chrissy’s blog. And as she states in her comments, she had never read Chrissy’s blog until now. I’m sorry that I had to bring attention to Chrissy’s blog in this manner. I’m sorry that I had lumped her together with the commenter on Chrissy’s blog. I should not have done this.
Her comment upset me. I don’t know why it upset me so much. I’ve always been the kind of gal who wears my heart on my sleeve. This applies even more when I am pregnant. I take things very personally. I always have. It hurt me when she insinuated that Tiny is not motivation enough for me. Gavin, Elliott Richard and Tiny are the reasons behind each and every thing I do.
I am very sensitive when it comes to my children. Rightfully so. I have spent years fighting on behalf of my children. I will spend the rest of my life fighting for them. But when I feel attacked as a mother, to me that just feels below the belt.
Would I have taken the comment any better if she had left her name? Probably not. It was the simple fact that I felt attacked and questioned in my motives.
In all honesty, what triggered that post was the post on Chrissy’s blog. The trigger was not the comment left a week or so ago. Although what I should have done is asked her, if she truly felt that I seeking outside motivation? And why? Tiny is motivation enough for me. When Rob gives me my injections, I think of Tiny. I feel the movements and I think of how it’s only a little pain for the good of our child. When I am in L&D feeling like a heel because my contractions aren’t showing up on the monitor, I think of Tiny. I think of how maybe I think it’s nothing but it could be something and I would rather know in time to stop it.
What I should have done was reacted intellectually and not emotionally. I should have seen the opportunity to try and make a new friend. Rather than twisting the opportunity to make an “enemy”. That’s not to say I have that much of an impact on her life. Merely that I didn’t take the opportunity offered. I twisted it into something else.
I do not apologize for my thoughts or feelings. I do, however, apologize for lumping my anonymous commenter together with this other. I was wrong to do that. I was merely venting my anger at negative anonymous commenters. Those happened to be my two recent examples. However, we leave our blogs and ourselves open for comments and as such should be prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly.
This is not what I wanted for my blog. This is not the way I want to portray myself. Nor is this how I wish to portray my family. So I am sorry, Anonymous Comment Leaver. (Yes, I am aware that “leaver” is not really a word but it works here.) I would email you and apologize one-on-one but I do not have your address. So please, if you happen to read this, know that I am sorry for lashing out at you. I’ve handled this poorly and for that, I was wrong.
I’ve said my piece. As far as I’m concerned this dies here.