Well, I’m at home with Gavin (who is sound asleep in bed). I’m supposed to be on the couch but my laptop died – again! Such are the joys of having a laptop that is nearly 10 years old with no battery life! So I gave up and came in Rob’s office to use the desktop. Rob took Elliott Richard out for ice cream for his birthday. And so it begins…
I knew this was coming. I knew that statistically I was bound to have preterm labor issues because of all the issues I had with Elliott Richard. I just wasn’t prepared for those issues to show up now. I will be 20 weeks tomorrow. I had my 20 week appointment and ultrasound scheduled for Thursday, March 6th. They moved both up to this afternoon because of the cramps, contractions, pain and pressure. Not to mention the placenta previa issues and things aren’t looking pretty. (Much like Rob’s desktop if it doesn’t learn to keep up with my 75 wpm typing speed! ARGH!)
The ultrasound was first. Barb spent a good 45 mins to an hour with us. It was nice. Tiny is once again, absolutely perfect. She showed us the nose (nostrils and all!) and we were able to see that everything is perfectly formed with no cleft pallet. (Yay!) We saw all 10 fingers and toes, still no clubbed foot. (Yay!) All the different parts of the brain, present and accounted for. (Yay!) Measuring right on target. (Yay!) Plenty of amniotic fluid. (Yay!) Still no bands. (Double yay!) Placenta is looking good but the placement still isn’t great. (Eh.) We got 3 really cute pictures of Tiny doing some thumb sucking. (I’ll scan them and post them later.) Barb was struggling to see Tiny’s heart because of the funky position Tiny was lying in but she finally got a few shots of what she needed. (Usually Tiny’s moves all over the place when the doppler is placed on my belly, I’m thinking the lack of running was a testiment to the lack of room inside. lol)
After the ultrasound, we saw Dr. D. Here are the stats:
Tiny’s HB (heartbeat) 155bpm
We spoke with the nurse about the cramps, contractions, pain and pressure. Then Dr. D came in with one of my favorite nurses, Lori. We talked to them about everything. Unfotunately, at 20 weeks there isn’t much that can be done. The few things I know about that will help, I can’t have/use/benefit from until 24 weeks. So until then, it’s more rest. Less activity. Medication for the pain. Appointments every 2 weeks rather than every 4. Still my weekly pow-wows with Lisa and her needle. Dr. D said that if/when I reach 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks, and 36 weeks he will do a dance each time. I asked him if this was “the beginning of the end” and he said “Yeah, now we wait.”
I’ve cried so much today my eyes hurt. I’ve cried because I love our little Tiny so very much that the thought of not making it to 24 weeks (the age of viability in Ohio) is crushing. I cried because it’s days like today that remind me that I can do everything right (I don’t smoke – haven’t for years. I don’t drink hardly ever. I don’t do illegal drugs ever. And I certainly don’t do any of that while pregnant!) and I still have to fight a battle I may very well not win. While there are women who do everything “wrong” – they smoke, drink, and do drugs – while pregnant and have perfect, healthy, full-term babies! I cried because I’m already missing out on things – Elliott Richard’s birthday ice cream, CATS – and I’ve got (hopefully) 20 weeks to go. I cried because I feel so alone.